I have very little patience. Anyone who knows me will know there are many small and mundane things that irritate me on a daily basis. But, this could also be attributed to my perfectionism and my (self-diagnosed) generalized anxiety disorder.
I hate waiting behind cars who didn’t notice the light just turned green. I absolutely hate walking behind slow people– anywhere. I have somewhere to be. I don’t like waiting in lines. Hell, sometimes I even lack patience when it comes to talking to and hanging with my own husband.
So, naturally, one of the things that boggles my mind is how I manage to survive parenthood every day. Raising a young, inquiring mind requires immense levels of patience.
Before I continue this blog, here’s a disclaimer: I DO NOT HATE MY SON. I DON’T HATE BEING A MOM. It’s just fun to bitch about stuff every now and then, okay? Alright, let the blog commence:
Living with and Raising a Six-Year-Old
My son, Kai asks a million questions a day. And that’s probably not even an exaggeration. He wants to know about everything. Even when I’m cooking, even when I’m trying to switch lanes while driving him to summer camp. Even when it’s bath time and we’re winding down for the night. Questions on questions on questions.
Then, he follows me and Garrett everywhere around the house. Like a puppy almost. Oh, you have to go to the bathroom? I’m coming. Oh, you’re going downstairs for two seconds to grab a bottle of water? Me, too! He also wants to eat all the time. He’s always asking for a meal and says he’s hungry, but after I slave over a hot stove and serve him a delicious homemade dinner, he picks at it and just gets full off of juice!
He is very sensitive about a lot of things, so of course, when Garrett and I joke and say sarcastic things, he can’t tell that we’re joking. And he gets offended, sometimes with tears rolling down his cheeks. (God dammit, Kai, we didn’t mean it!)
And don’t get me started on his energy! This kid cannot stay still. Like, seriously, he moves all the time. He runs back and forth around the house. When we’re sitting on the bed watching TV, he’s just bouncing in the spot he sits. It’s almost funny how much he needs to move.
What I’ve Learned from All This
When I was a kid, I was my son. And when Garrett was young, he was Kai. We did very similar things when we were little. Garrett, even to this day, cannot stay still. And I was the inquisitive know-it-all who wouldn’t stop asking questions, unless it was when I was chugging my juice for dinner.
Our parents are wonderful, precious, patient beings who deserve the highest accolades and awards for dealing with our shit, when we were little shits.
I can only hope and pray that one day I will learn the patience to not be annoyed by my son. I am his life. Along with Garrett, I control many things that can and will happen to him. His perception is completely different than mine because he is LITERALLY learning something new every day. And it’s up to me and Garrett to guide him through that. It’s an incredibly humbling thing to realize how much I matter to him and his well being. Without me, who knows what would happen to that kid?
I try so hard to be perfect. And I beat myself up for messing up at being a perfect mom sometimes. But, the thing is… Kai doesn’t need, nor does he want, me to be “perfect.” All he wants is a smile. All he wants is for me to eat dinner with him, play with him, and love him. Simple, right?
Here’s a big shout-out to all the parents out there, those who are young like me and those more seasoned. If your kids haven’t told you this lately, I’ll tell you: you are a precious gift to your child’s life and everything you do for them is appreciated. I know you’re tired. I am, too. But, you are molding a wonderful human being who will grow up to do great things, all because you care for them like you do.
You are loved.