The meaning of love will change from person to person. For most of my life, my definition of love had been based on romantic comedies. And I aspired to have a “perfect love” like that. I watched movies like “The Notebook” and “Hitch” and other silly romantic classics. I thought that people always stay together forever. That love is easy.
Well, the stuff that happens in those movies isn’t entirely realistic. Love is not perfect, and sometimes it’s not easy.
My History of Imperfect Love
We all have flaws. For so long, I spent a lot of time judging. Judging my friends, my sisters, strangers, and my significant other. Looking at them, studying their flaws and wishing they would be another way. Thinking, “why do they do the things they do?” and “Why don’t they do it my way?”
The mindset of desiring to– for the lack of a better word– correct their behavior was just bad energy I created. In turn, it basically made a dark cloud around my relationships and I ended up spending less and less time with a lot of people. (Sorry, guys.) Because I spent so much time judging, I ended up liking the people I loved less, and wanting to spend no time around them until THEY changed.
A Change in Perspective
But recently, I’ve been on a path of finding my own peace and learning more positive behaviors. I’ve been redefining my meaning of love. In addition to reading some books, Garrett helped me realize this: a big part of loving someone is accepting them for who they are. It’s along the lines of unconditional love. It’s saying, “I will love you despite any flaws I see. I will not try to change you. I will support you in all your endeavors. It is not my place to make you into something you’re not.”
I am working on a path to acceptance. I no longer want to try to change people or tell them they’re wrong. I do not have to make them into who I want them to be, but instead, allow them to be their whole self, without any criticism from me. And hopefully, they can accept me for who I am, too.
I encourage you to indulge in the comment section. What is your definition of love? Do you believe in unconditional love?