When you’re a part of a long term relationship, do you shy away from others to put your significant other first? Or, are your friends and family still in the picture as much as they were during your single days?
Should Couples Adopt an Us against the World Mentality?
Okay, so you probably know a couple that has this mentality of “Us against the World.” They shoo away other friends who don’t approve of their relationship, or they’re so all over each other that they tend to lose the closeness of their family and friends. They fight for their relationship so much, other relationships seem to not matter as much anymore. “As long as I got my boo, I’m good,” they say.
I used to want that type of relationship. I wanted to be so close to Garrett that neither he nor I needed anyone else in the world. (I’m sure many of my friends can attest to this. Sorry, guys. I still love you even though I’m a tad crazy.) But lately, I’ve realized this probably isn’t the best way to go.
Maintaining Relationships outside of Your Relationship
Garrett is my best friend, sure. But only to a certain limit. He’s never—and I mean never—going to accompany me to a Jhené Aiko concert. Not that he wouldn’t if I absolutely begged him, but he’s just not into her music, and I shouldn’t force him to be. Just like he doesn’t force me to play Destiny with him. He just knows that’s not me.
There are some things Garrett and I can talk to each other about, but we shouldn’t have to be each other’s everything. There’s value in maintaining friendships outside of the relationship. Every now and then, I appreciate some time away from being a wife, and I’m sure Garrett appreciates his Bro Time as well.
As appealing as it is to get married and then disappear from the world together, it’s still important to call your mom every week and catch up with your homies. I’m hoping to remind myself of that more often.
Thoughts? How do you maintain strong ties with your family and close friends while you’re in a long term relationship?